Are emotionally cold or impulsive partners—long regarded as poor romantic matches—actually helping boost your career? A new study from Victoria University of Wellington, recently published in Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, peels back the layers of psychopathy in relationships to explore surprising effects on occupational prestige.
The Study in Focus
Researchers Aaron Hissey and colleagues tapped into the New Zealand Attitudes and Values Study (NZAVS), assessing 490 employed couples in long-term, committed relationships—some spanning up to 53 years.
Participants completed measures of relationship satisfaction, job satisfaction, and occupational prestige, alongside psychopathy traits—fearless dominance, self-centered impulsivity, and cold-heartedness.
Using an actor-partner interdependence model, the team probed not just how someone’s traits affect themselves, but also how they influence their partner.
Key Findings: What Makes Psychopathic Perks?
1. Self-Centered Impulsivity Hurts Relationships
Partners high in self-centered impulsivity—acting selfishly and erratically—tended to erode their partner’s relationship satisfaction over time.
It’s no surprise such traits come at a personal cost.
2. Cold-Heartedness Fuels Career Success
In contrast, having a cold-hearted partner correlated with higher occupational prestige for the other partner—not lower, as you’d expect . This effect emerged over time and operated independent of relationship satisfaction, suggesting a learning mechanism rather than emotional fallout.
What Could That Mean?
Picture a workplace opportunity where others hesitate—maybe fearing they might step on toes. Next time, you might:
- Charge ahead unabashedly,
- Prioritize winning over niceties,
- Follow through aggressively without remorse.
These might not be noble moves—but they can pay off. Interestingly, your cold-hearted partner may even applaud your success on the way home.
So… Should You Consider Dating a Psychopath?
Career Climb: Yes—if your sole goal is to gain edge in a competitive workplace, a partner with low empathy might indirectly sharpen your strategic instincts.
Emotional Cost: Absolutely not—self-centred impulsivity strains your relationship, and the absence of warmth can take a heavy emotional toll.
Long-Term Reality: Many couples endure for decades—not because psychopathic traits vanish, but perhaps because partners adapt. As the study notes, long-term couples may reflect moderated psychopathy over time—and unhappy ones likely wouldn’t last.
Final Thoughts
While the idea of unintended career boosts via a partner’s cold-heartedness may intrigue, it’s a double-edged sword. Professional gains might come at the cost of intimacy and emotional well-being. The study invites reflection: how much of your success is driven by empathy? How much by drive unapologetic and detached?
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