As September ushers in the end of summer, children and teenagers across the country are returning to school, navigating the familiar mix of excitement and apprehension. For those transitioning from primary to secondary school, the change can feel especially overwhelming.
To guide parents on supporting their children during this period, Fahima Ali, an experienced psychotherapist and founder of Peace by Piece, shared her insights. Based in London, Ali has over a decade of experience in mental health and couples therapy. She began her career working with young people before expanding her practice to adults and eventually founding her own private practice.
Ali, who is also known online as fahima.therapy, gained a significant social media following during the pandemic by offering mental health advice to isolated communities with limited access to support. Her early career included placements in secondary schools and counseling sessions in sixth forms, giving her firsthand insight into the challenges teenagers face during major transitions.
Describing the shift from primary to secondary school as a “huge transition,” Ali emphasized the importance of helping children identify their emotions. She recommends strategies like a “worry dump” the night before school to reduce morning stress.
In an exclusive interview with The Mirror, she said: “I always say the more you can do beforehand, the less stress you’ll feel that morning. Planning, preparing, having a school buddy—all of these help children manage the change more easily.”
Ali highlighted that one of the main challenges for children starting secondary school is adjusting to a new environment and forming new friendships, particularly when primary school friends are assigned to different classes. “It can bring up a lot of nerves when you don’t know many people,” she explained. “It feels like starting over, and if friendships don’t form immediately, it can feel isolating.”
The expert identified one essential action parents should take both before school and after children return home: check in with them. Mornings, she noted, are particularly crucial. Ensuring children are well-rested, enjoying a calm breakfast, and discussing their feelings helps create a safe space for expression without pressure.
“Constant checking is really important for parents,” Ali said. She acknowledged that some parents may have limited time due to work commitments but emphasized that many other forms of preparation are possible, such as talking with family friends already in secondary school.
Ali also stressed that children are sensitive to their parents’ emotional states. When parents are stressed or anxious, children often mirror those feelings, which can exacerbate their own nerves. She recommended giving both children and parents separate spaces to express emotions, whether through journaling, doodling, or other activities.
“Just let it out—it allows you to make space for emotions and prevents them from building up throughout the day,” she said. “When you create that space, you can engage with your children calmly and supportively.”
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