Anxiety doesn’t just affect women. Even though studies show women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, experts say men are far from immune.
Researchers aren’t exactly sure why this difference exists. However, many believe that men feel pressure to hide their emotions and appear strong. This can lead them to express anxiety in ways that seem more socially acceptable for men.
“Men are taught not to show anxiety,” said Dr. Carmen McLean, a clinical associate professor at Stanford University’s Department of Psychiatry. “They’re raised to be self-reliant and in control, which discourages them from admitting fear or worry.”
This mindset can push men to cope in harmful ways—like substance abuse—or to develop other mental health conditions. These symptoms can often go unnoticed. That’s why it’s important to understand how anxiety shows up differently in men.
Although some signs—such as nervousness or fast breathing—are common in everyone, experts say the following five symptoms are especially common in men.
1. Men With Anxiety Often Struggle With Dating
Men who suffer from social anxiety tend to fear dating. In fact, they are more likely to be single, separated, or divorced, according to a Columbia University study.
“There’s pressure on men to take the lead in dating,” said Dr. Stefan G. Hofmann, a psychology professor at Boston University. “They’re expected to make the first move. That creates a performance situation, which raises anxiety.”
Even in the world of dating apps, men are usually the ones who send the first message. On OkCupid, men are three times more likely than women to initiate contact. This constant fear of rejection can be overwhelming.
Some men also feel deep stress about being single. And there are reasons for that, said David Ezell, a clinical director at Darien Wellness in Connecticut.
“Men do better in marriage,” said Ezell. “They are less likely to get sick or end up in the hospital. And if they do go to the hospital, they stay for shorter periods.”
Marriage also carries social value, he added. It’s seen as a sign of growing up and becoming successful. That’s why for men with anxiety, both dating and being single can be major sources of stress.
2. Men With Anxiety May Turn to Alcohol or Drugs
Men are more likely than women to use alcohol or drugs to deal with anxiety, according to the same Columbia study. Many use substances to self-medicate instead of seeking professional help.
“They’re trying to fix it themselves,” said Ezell. “A drink feels like something they can control. It doesn’t involve seeing a doctor.”
Alcohol, in particular, is widely used to reduce social anxiety. Hofmann explained that it works quickly, which is why many people turn to it—even if it’s harmful long-term.
Take college students as an example. Many “pre-game” before going to parties, drinking in smaller groups to feel more at ease in social settings. This habit, while common, can signal deeper anxiety issues.
Men who avoid therapy or mental health support may rely on heavy drinking or drugs to cope. But this path often leads to addiction.
3. Men With Anxiety May Appear Angry Instead
Some men don’t show anxiety in the typical ways. Instead of looking worried or afraid, they may seem angry.
“Anger is more accepted in men,” said McLean. While women are often encouraged to seek help or talk about their feelings, men may bottle up emotions until they explode.
“Because men don’t express anxiety in a healthy way, it can come out as bursts of anger,” said Ezell. “And society tends to view anger in men as decisive or strong.”
Since other signs of anxiety are often discouraged, anger becomes one of the few socially acceptable ways men can show emotional distress.
4. Anxiety Can Harm Men’s Relationships
Anxious men often struggle in their relationships, according to more Columbia University data. One reason could be that women tend to have more emotional support from friends, while men usually rely mostly on their romantic partners.
“Men put most of their stress on their partner,” said Hofmann. “That creates a lot of pressure.”
Sociologist Eli J. Finkel discussed this issue in his book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage. He pointed out that people now expect a lot from romantic relationships—things they used to get from friends and family.
In the past, marriage was about sharing basic needs. Today, it’s also expected to provide emotional growth, meaning, and support.
But when a man has only one outlet for support, like a partner, that relationship can become strained quickly.
5. Men With Anxiety Obsess Over Success and Status
In wealthy towns like Darien, Connecticut—home to many Wall Street professionals—Ezell works with high-earning men who still feel anxious about not having enough.
“My clients make a lot of money,” said Ezell. “But they’re still unhappy and want to know why.”
He says many men compare themselves to others constantly. If a friend vacations in Aspen, they want to go
to the Alps. This ongoing competition creates stress.
“We get used to our achievements quickly,” Ezell explained. “If I’m eating well, I want to eat even better.”
This constant drive to keep up or outdo others—especially in terms of status—can lead to deep anxiety, even among highly successful men.
Why These Symptoms Shouldn’t Be Ignored
Because these symptoms don’t look like “classic” anxiety, they often go unnoticed or untreated. But understanding these signs can help men seek the support they need—whether that’s therapy, medication, or just talking to someone they trust.
Ignoring anxiety doesn’t make it go away. But recognizing it is the first step to dealing with it in a healthy, effective way.
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